He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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