I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
