Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
