Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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