i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
