omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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