.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
