Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I love having hate sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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