god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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