too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
