does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
