Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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