I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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