I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize