Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I still have a little drunk in my system
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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