new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
