I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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