I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
