you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
