All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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