also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
