She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
