I like to think it a success when the cops are called
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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