Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
