i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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