It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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