she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
