So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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