I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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