My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize