i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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