I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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