just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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