I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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