watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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