I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
