lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
