just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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