can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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