So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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