I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
