the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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