Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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