my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
