i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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