ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
