My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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