At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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