You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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