He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
