I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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