You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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