I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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