I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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