Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
