Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
