We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
