she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
