there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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