We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my shit smells like andre
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
