Just cropdusted the office
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
