Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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