i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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