I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also, beer. Big fan.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU