I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito