at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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